Here's the last glorious sunset I've captured using my now lost phone.
Right when this month started, I've read on Threads about the October Theory: for some people, this month is "an alarm to make certain changes before the year is over"; a time when people "decide what things need to be set into motion".
I was excited for October since I knew there was so much in store. My weekends were fully booked with gigs: Clara Benin and I Belong to the Zoo at Jess & Pat's, the Over October concert, a science communication workshop, Women's Run PH, and a SPIT show. I was saying yes to every invitation that fit my schedule. Between these, I was making progress with my thesis experiments, unexpectedly leading a team on a business proposal, tutoring, cooking meals for everybody at home, volunteering to help with orientation for first-year students, and squeezing in training sessions for my upcoming run.
This was my way of embracing change before the year’s end—a commitment to growth. I didn’t want to miss a single opportunity, knowing that by this time next year, I might be in a completely different season. Every task brought a sense of purpose, and it was satisfying to tick each one off my list. It felt good that things were in my control.
How I managed to show up for everything, and how things always seemed to work out, I can only attribute to the Lord’s presence with me every step of the way. Every ounce of strength I needed, every word I struggled to find, His grace was there, carrying me through.
The joy of completing my first 10K at the Women's Run was quickly overshadowed by the grief of losing my phone—which, as it turns out, was stolen. It all happened in less than 5 minutes-- when all you thought you were safe around women (grabe new fear unlocked!!!). Just a simple compromise and the day dragged on with a series of anticlimactic events I have never imagined I would witness in my life. Things totally were not in my control. Traumatized and drained, my roommates and I could not talk about it for three days.
When life is going well, it’s easy to lift our hands and give God all the glory. But when things go off-script, when setbacks hit us, it’s tempting to ask, 'Where is God in all this?' or 'Why me?' My roommate even said, half-joking, 'Maybe we were just too happy at yesterday’s SPIT show—now we’re paying for it.'
Despite it all, I know He was with me in those situations-- He gave me very caring roommates who did not think twice to help me; He sent us police officers who treated us well; He sent someone from the run who has the same case as mine (while it's unfortunate that there's another victim, it's comforting to know that someone can relate to all these dumb feelings); He was there to protect us from further violence that could have happened if things had escalated. His grace still has carried me.
1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.
I’ll admit, that incident left me with new fears. Yet it’s as though the Lord gently asks, 'Will you still trust Me? Will you rely on My provision? Will you remain faithful?'
And to that, I can answer with a resounding yes.
Just give me lang little time, Lord, to grieve my lost phone. Hahaha. And He did. He truly does restore, making me stronger, firmer, and more steadfast.
I know my own troubles pale in comparison to those who endured the devastation of Typhoon Kristine last week—or to my friend, who just lost her Dad today. They must have questioned the Lord more than me. From the depths of my heart, I pray that, somehow, these people can still see that God is here, even in the midst of suffering in this broken world. Jesus bore the unimaginable suffering on the cross—He understands whatever you’re facing.
I always carry Romans 8:28 with my heart, yet there are situations where we could not see how God can turn a difficult experience into something good. We may not have the answers today for all these questions. We may not yet see how He’s working through our mess and brokenness, but may we still trust His heart.
Because He is Someone who will love you in all your damaged glory*.
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