It's been awhile

It's been awhile I've posted something in this blog. I just honestly don't know how and where to start. I think I had a slump for the month of May. I was unmotivated and frustrated. I have so many pending drafts in this blog-- so many ideas but I just could not find the words. I let May pass by unproductive.

But for the month of June, I decided to work things out, to make plans, to be productive as much as I can, to be intentional in everything I do. While deep in my heart I hope it will, I think COVID-19 crisis is not going away any sooner considering the state of our country and how the government is handling the situation. I need to adjust in this #NewNormal and accomplish my goals with the things that are in my reach.

It is frustrating to have so many things right now that are not in my control but I have to accept that things are just the way it is for now and that I'll just focus on the things I can control and let go and let God do the rest.

So I started looking for online jobs and then an opportunity opened up. The universe is good to me. And then, I was asked to give a picture to be posted and that's when I realized I don't have any decent/formal pic because 1) I am the one who usually take pictures, 2) I am never comfortable in front of a camera and 3) I am not photogenic. Haha but I need to have a professional picture!! I don't want to send a grad pic or a studio-taken 1x1 picture. I convinced my girlfriends to help me and do a photoshoot with me. I am just so glad to have people to run to when I have shallow problems like this.

I chose Brave Work Cafe to be the setting of our photoshoot because they have a promo for the month of June (hahaha broke kids) and the ambiance of the place is so nice. I will have a separate post to promote Brave Work Cafe. :)

The following are my headshots photographed by my friend Nicole. Thank you so much Nics! 

Look how monotonous my poses are hahahahaha. Same form of smile haha. So awkward. I wish I have at least half of Jai's confidence to be comfortable in front of a camera.

I actually learned something from this experience. I was reminded that photos are powerful and learning how to take good photos of a person is equally important. Photos can make or break a person's self-esteem and confidence. If a person doesn't want his/her photo taken, either they are just really shy, they want privacy or they just simply hate seeing the image of themselves because it will remind them of their insecurities. And I can totally relate to the latter one.

This reminded me of my purpose and my advocacy as an aspiring photographer. Aside from wanting to document the important moments of my life, I want to make people happy and feel good through my photos. I believe we are all beautiful in our own ways, it's all just a matter of perspective. I believe there is beauty in everyone. We aren't just looking at the right angles. This challenged me to be a better photographer, to showcase the beauty of every human being, even for the unconventionally beautiful. To capture the right angles and make them realize that there's beauty in them. That we are God's designs and everyone of us is beautifully and wonderfully made by Him. I really hate how easily society's beauty standards can seep through our minds. And I try my best to not let these standards influence and limit my vision in photography, too.

Being outside for a short time with my camera brings me back the joy I feel in taking photographs of other people and the joy I feel when they're happy with the photos I've taken. It's really uplifting and fulfilling. Unfortunately, I'm not yet good and am becoming rusty in taking photographs. I really need to practice more and need to buy a good lens. 

Even though I also have yet to build a confidence within me, giving confidence and bringing out the best in people is the least that I can do. It's empowering to empower others. I know we'll find this confidence, eventually, by God's grace. #RoadToConfidence. Spread love and kindness always. Haha and that ends this blog post.